BEST (actual) HEADLINES
Noooo.........really?
*
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
Now that's taking things a bit far!
*
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Whaaaaaaat??!!!!???
*
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
*
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!
*
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
*
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
*
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think?!
*
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
*
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
*
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
*
Crack Found on
Governor's Daughter.
Imagine
that!
*
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery
charge
*
New Study of Obesity Looks for
Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
*
*
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in
Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
*
Local High
School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
*
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they
tall!
*
And the
winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that
sign right?
We all need a good
laugh, at least once a day!
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