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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Politically Correct About Men

Politically Correct
About Men

He does not have a beer gut;
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not quiet;
He is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not stupid;
He suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He does not get lost;
He DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not balding;
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a cradle robber;
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.  

He does not get falling-down drunk;
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a total ass;
He develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not short;
He is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
He does not constantly talk about cars;
He has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not unsophisticated;
He is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not eat like a pig;
He suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
He does not hog the blankets;
He is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He is not a male chauvinist pig;
He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He doesn't have a dirty mind;
He has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

He is not afraid of commitment;
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

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