If Men Really Ruled👨The World😎

👦  If Men Really Ruled The World  😎

🌍    🌎    🌏

Any fake phone #  a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
♂️
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
🍺

 Birth control would come in ale or lager.
💔
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
🚔

Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks. 

💰

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
♂️
Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
🍸
Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
♂️
Garbage would take itself out.
😏
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
💍
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
🍺
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
♂️
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
♂️
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the “public ugliness” ordinance.
⌚
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
♂️
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day, too.
🍀
St. Patrick’s Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
💣
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
📞
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
😁
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
🏈
The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
🏆
The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
💘
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

👄 When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

👮

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. 

As in: 

Cop:   “You know how fast you were going?” 

You:   “All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.” 

Cop:   “Nice one. That’s $10 off.”

               

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