A Dorothy Parker
Quip for Every Occasion
On the 50th Anniversary of her Death
By Emily Temple June 7, 2017
On the 50th Anniversary of her Death
By Emily Temple June 7, 2017
If you were a certain kind of teenager (bookish, mouthy), you may have memorized literary quotes—quips, perhaps; zingers even—as a kind of social armor-slash-weapons kit in your spare time. If you did, doubtless you taught yourself at least a few phrases once spoken by Dorothy Parker—acerbic critic, witty drinker, sharp-eyed essayist—who died fifty years ago today at the age of 73. Parker is probably best known for her caustic repartee and suggestive rhyming lines (some of the most famous of which are apocryphal, alas), which is fair enough—everyone loves a good one-liner—but she’s also a fine prose stylist, and I highly recommend at least a few hours spent with her Constant Reader column in The New Yorker, in which she reviewed books, more than often negatively, from 1927 to 1933. (Bring back the pan, I always say.) Parker’s columns are like candy: read one—even a review of a book you’ve never heard of, it doesn’t matter—and you’ll be compelled to read the next. Unlike candy, however, these are not bad for you. Neither is anything else she wrote. As for her martini-fueled insults, well, the jury’s out. Either way, on the fiftieth anniversary of Parker’s death, I am writing to encourage you to embrace your inner teen and memorize some of her excellent quippage to use at your earliest convenience.
Top 10 Dorothy Parker Quotes
Gracious Quotes
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Some suggestions below.
For buying lottery tickets:
“I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.” (The Paris Review)
For Friday nights:
“It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes. I can’t stand messes.” (The Paris Review)
For standing in the corner at parties:
“Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.” (quoted in Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker)
For missing your deadline, answering emails, calling people back, etc.:
“Too fucking busy and vice versa.” (quoted in The Unimportance of Being Oscar by Oscar Levant)
For being asked for writing advice:
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.” (originally published in a review in Esquire, 1959)
For riding the subway in New York City:
“Not just plain terrible. This was fancy terrible; this was terrible with raisins in it.” (quoted in Chimes of Change and Hours by Audrey Borenstein)
For chiding that one friend who makes too many dumb jokes:
“There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.” (The Paris Review)
For talking to people who owe you money:
“To me, the most beautiful word in the English language is cellar-door. Isn’t it wonderful? The ones I like, though, are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.'” (quoted in Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker)
For turning down a proposal:
“By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this—
One of you is lying.” (her poem “Unfortunate Coincidence”)
For overpriced restaurants and/or pretentious people:
“[T]ripe is tripe, even though it be served with every recommended precision of elegance.” (from a review of Elegant Infidelities of Madame Li Pei Fou in The New Yorker)
For when you hate a book everyone else loves, and you know you’re right:
“But on second thinking, I dare to differ more specifically from the booksie-wooksies. . . . For years, you see, I have been crouching in corners hissing small and ladylike anathema of [author’s name here—in this case, it’s Theodore Dreiser]. I dared not yip it out loud, much less offer it up in print. But now, what with a series of events that have made me callous to anything that may later occur, I have become locally known as the What-the-Hell Girl of 1931.” (from a review of Theodore Dreiser’s Dawn in The New Yorker)
For Monday mornings:
“To my own admittedly slanted vision, industry ranks with such sour and spinster virtues as thrift, punctuality, level-headedness, and caution.” (from a review of Sinclair Lewis’s Dodsworth in The New Yorker)
For leaving the party early to get into the bath (also, truncated, for use as a solid insult):
“It has lately been drawn to your correspondent’s attention that, at social gatherings, she is not the human magnet she would be. Indeed, it turns out that as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, she ranks somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.” (from a review of Favorite Jokes of Famous People in The New Yorker)
For book events:
“My life and my arms are now and hereafter consecrated to the services of the Society for the Abolition of Charm. . . . There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.” (from a review of Debonair by G.B. Stern in The New Yorker)
For not leaving New York:
“London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it. There is excitement ever running its streets. Each day, as you go out, you feel the little nervous quiver that is yours when you sit in the theater just before the curtain rises. Other places may give you a sweet and soothing sense of level; but in New York there is always the feeling of “Something’s going to happen.” It isn’t peace. But, you know, you do get used to peace, and so quickly. And you never get used to New York.” (from “My Hometown,” originally published in McCall’s in 1928)
For reading the Hottest, Newest Young Novelists:
“All writers are either 29 or Thomas Hardy.” (her response to a question about the age of Ernest Hemingway)
For weddings and funerals:
“You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.” (probably uttered by Dorothy Parker, if not invented by her)
For every single day, reading the news:
“Civilization is coming to an end, you understand.” (The Paris Review)
Ditto:
“What fresh hell can this be?” (everyone’s favorite Dorothy Parker quote, though often misquoted, here reported in You Might as Well Live: the Life and Times of Dorothy Parker, by John Keats)
For buying lottery tickets:
“I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.” (The Paris Review)
For Friday nights:
“It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes. I can’t stand messes.” (The Paris Review)
For standing in the corner at parties:
“Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.” (quoted in Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker)
For missing your deadline, answering emails, calling people back, etc.:
“Too fucking busy and vice versa.” (quoted in The Unimportance of Being Oscar by Oscar Levant)
For being asked for writing advice:
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.” (originally published in a review in Esquire, 1959)
For riding the subway in New York City:
“Not just plain terrible. This was fancy terrible; this was terrible with raisins in it.” (quoted in Chimes of Change and Hours by Audrey Borenstein)
For chiding that one friend who makes too many dumb jokes:
“There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.” (The Paris Review)
For talking to people who owe you money:
“To me, the most beautiful word in the English language is cellar-door. Isn’t it wonderful? The ones I like, though, are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.'” (quoted in Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker)
For turning down a proposal:
“By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this—
One of you is lying.” (her poem “Unfortunate Coincidence”)
For overpriced restaurants and/or pretentious people:
“[T]ripe is tripe, even though it be served with every recommended precision of elegance.” (from a review of Elegant Infidelities of Madame Li Pei Fou in The New Yorker)
For when you hate a book everyone else loves, and you know you’re right:
“But on second thinking, I dare to differ more specifically from the booksie-wooksies. . . . For years, you see, I have been crouching in corners hissing small and ladylike anathema of [author’s name here—in this case, it’s Theodore Dreiser]. I dared not yip it out loud, much less offer it up in print. But now, what with a series of events that have made me callous to anything that may later occur, I have become locally known as the What-the-Hell Girl of 1931.” (from a review of Theodore Dreiser’s Dawn in The New Yorker)
For Monday mornings:
“To my own admittedly slanted vision, industry ranks with such sour and spinster virtues as thrift, punctuality, level-headedness, and caution.” (from a review of Sinclair Lewis’s Dodsworth in The New Yorker)
For leaving the party early to get into the bath (also, truncated, for use as a solid insult):
“It has lately been drawn to your correspondent’s attention that, at social gatherings, she is not the human magnet she would be. Indeed, it turns out that as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, she ranks somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.” (from a review of Favorite Jokes of Famous People in The New Yorker)
For book events:
“My life and my arms are now and hereafter consecrated to the services of the Society for the Abolition of Charm. . . . There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.” (from a review of Debonair by G.B. Stern in The New Yorker)
For not leaving New York:
“London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it. There is excitement ever running its streets. Each day, as you go out, you feel the little nervous quiver that is yours when you sit in the theater just before the curtain rises. Other places may give you a sweet and soothing sense of level; but in New York there is always the feeling of “Something’s going to happen.” It isn’t peace. But, you know, you do get used to peace, and so quickly. And you never get used to New York.” (from “My Hometown,” originally published in McCall’s in 1928)
For reading the Hottest, Newest Young Novelists:
“All writers are either 29 or Thomas Hardy.” (her response to a question about the age of Ernest Hemingway)
For weddings and funerals:
“You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.” (probably uttered by Dorothy Parker, if not invented by her)
For every single day, reading the news:
“Civilization is coming to an end, you understand.” (The Paris Review)
Ditto:
“What fresh hell can this be?” (everyone’s favorite Dorothy Parker quote, though often misquoted, here reported in You Might as Well Live: the Life and Times of Dorothy Parker, by John Keats)
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Best Dorothy Parker Quotes, Sayings, Lines
Enjoy the sharp-tongued wit of Dorothy Parker.
ListCaboodle presents a look at the best Dorothy Parker quotes and sayings from her lifetime.
Dorothy Parker is best known for her witty takes and sometimes stinging critiques of 20th-century culture and society. Her legacy includes founding the Algonquin Round Table with a group of writers, actors, and humorists.
Wth smart quips and observations, she laid bare the hypocrisies and inconsistencies of the socially and politically elite of her day. Here is a list of some of her best quotes and lines.
1.) “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
2.) “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
3.) “Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.”
4.) “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
5.) “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
6.) “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
Parker moved to Hollywood to become a screenwriter in 1932. She earned two Acadamy Award nominations for her work, including a nomination for Best Writing–Screenplay for the 1937 film, A Star Is Born.
7.) “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
8.) “One more drink and I’ll be under the host.”
9.) “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”
10.) “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
11.) “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
12.) “There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
13.) “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
14.) “I hate writing, I love having written.”
In 1917, she married Wall Street stockbroker Edwin Pond Parker II. They divorced in 1928. She later remarried screenwriter and actor Alan Campbell but kept her last name from her first marriage.
Dorothy Parker Quotes On Life
15.) “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
16.) “She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
17.) “Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.”
18.) “I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it.”
19.) “I can’t write five words but that I change seven.”
20.) “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.'”
ListCaboodle presents a look at the best Dorothy Parker quotes and sayings from her lifetime.
Dorothy Parker is best known for her witty takes and sometimes stinging critiques of 20th-century culture and society. Her legacy includes founding the Algonquin Round Table with a group of writers, actors, and humorists.
Wth smart quips and observations, she laid bare the hypocrisies and inconsistencies of the socially and politically elite of her day. Here is a list of some of her best quotes and lines.
1.) “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
2.) “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
3.) “Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.”
4.) “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
5.) “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
6.) “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
Parker moved to Hollywood to become a screenwriter in 1932. She earned two Acadamy Award nominations for her work, including a nomination for Best Writing–Screenplay for the 1937 film, A Star Is Born.
7.) “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
8.) “One more drink and I’ll be under the host.”
9.) “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”
10.) “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
11.) “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
12.) “There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
13.) “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
14.) “I hate writing, I love having written.”
In 1917, she married Wall Street stockbroker Edwin Pond Parker II. They divorced in 1928. She later remarried screenwriter and actor Alan Campbell but kept her last name from her first marriage.
Dorothy Parker Quotes On Life
15.) “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
16.) “She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
17.) “Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.”
18.) “I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it.”
19.) “I can’t write five words but that I change seven.”
20.) “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.'”
21.) “Women and elephants never forget.”
Dorothy Parker was born on August 22, 1893, in Long Branch, New Jersey.
Parker is known as a wisecracking satirist, critic, poet, and writer.
Her writing style is best described as bittersweet and sardonic.Despite her enduring reputation for being sharp-tongued, she never liked being known as a ‘wisecracker’.
Parker is a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table, a group of New York actors, writers, and critics that gathered regularly for lunch each day at the Algonquin Hotel. Their satirizations and witticisms were published in various newspaper columns across the country.
Her writing style is best described as bittersweet and sardonic.Despite her enduring reputation for being sharp-tongued, she never liked being known as a ‘wisecracker’.
Parker is a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table, a group of New York actors, writers, and critics that gathered regularly for lunch each day at the Algonquin Hotel. Their satirizations and witticisms were published in various newspaper columns across the country.
Parker’s
screenwriting came to a halt when she was placed on the Hollywood
blacklist for her Communist activities. The FBI put together a
1,000-page dossier that detailed her alleged involvement in Communism.
Some of her poems have been set to music, including Hate Songs by Marcus Paus.
In 1914 Parker sold her first poem to Vanity Fair magazine. Later that year, she became an editorial assistant for Vogue magazine. Two years later she was hired at Vanity Fair as a staff writer.
During the 1920s, Parker published nearly 300 poems and free verses in national publications, including Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, Vogue, Life, The New Republic, and McCall’s.
GoodParker used the pseudonym Constant Reader in her work for The New Yorker. Her cutting book reviews for the newspaper were among her most widely-read works. A compilation of the reviews was published under the name Constant Reader in 1970.
In 1914 Parker sold her first poem to Vanity Fair magazine. Later that year, she became an editorial assistant for Vogue magazine. Two years later she was hired at Vanity Fair as a staff writer.
During the 1920s, Parker published nearly 300 poems and free verses in national publications, including Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, Vogue, Life, The New Republic, and McCall’s.
GoodParker used the pseudonym Constant Reader in her work for The New Yorker. Her cutting book reviews for the newspaper were among her most widely-read works. A compilation of the reviews was published under the name Constant Reader in 1970.
Her first published book of poetry, Enough Rope(1926), became widely-acclaimed and sold 47,000 copies.
She won the O. Henry Award for the best short story of 1929 for her best-known short story, Big Blonde.She divorced Campbell in 1947 after their stormy relationship, fueled by her drinking and his infidelity, broke apart. The couple could not stay apart, remarrying in 1950 and leading to an inevitable separation again in 1952.
She won the O. Henry Award for the best short story of 1929 for her best-known short story, Big Blonde.She divorced Campbell in 1947 after their stormy relationship, fueled by her drinking and his infidelity, broke apart. The couple could not stay apart, remarrying in 1950 and leading to an inevitable separation again in 1952.
In
the late 1950s, Parker moved back to New York and wrote book reviews
for Esquire magazine. With age and alcohol, her writing became
increasingly erratic.
Sayings
Sayings
By 1961, she was back in Hollywood and reconciled with Campbell. After his death in 1963, Parker returned to New York City.
In the late 1950s, Parker moved back to New York and wrote book reviews for Esquire magazine. With age and alcohol, her writing became increasingly erratic.
Sayings
In the late 1950s, Parker moved back to New York and wrote book reviews for Esquire magazine. With age and alcohol, her writing became increasingly erratic.
Sayings
Died
at age 73 on June 7, 1967, in New York City. She willed her estate to
Martin Luther King Jr. (which eventually transferred to the NAACP after
his death).
A commemorative plaque erected by the NAACP at her birthplace states: “Here lie the ashes of Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) humorist, writer, critic. Defender of human and civil rights. For her epitaph, she suggested, ‘Excuse my dust.’ This memorial garden is dedicated to her noble spirit, which celebrated the oneness of humankind and to the bonds of everlasting friendship between black and Jewish people. Dedicated by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. October 28, 1988.”
A commemorative plaque erected by the NAACP at her birthplace states: “Here lie the ashes of Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) humorist, writer, critic. Defender of human and civil rights. For her epitaph, she suggested, ‘Excuse my dust.’ This memorial garden is dedicated to her noble spirit, which celebrated the oneness of humankind and to the bonds of everlasting friendship between black and Jewish people. Dedicated by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. October 28, 1988.”
The Nation magazine once called Parker’s writing “caked with salty humor, rough with splinters of disillusion, and tarred with a bright black authenticity.”
Funny Dorothy Parker Quotes
Here are some more of our favorite Dorothy Parker quotes.
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have the money.
Notable
To me, the most beautiful word in the English language is cellar-door. Isn’t it wonderful? The ones I like, though, are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Of course, I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now while they’re happy.
Claire Evans
Claire writes about history, pop culture, and literature.
Funny Dorothy Parker Quotes
Here are some more of our favorite Dorothy Parker quotes.
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have the money.
Notable
To me, the most beautiful word in the English language is cellar-door. Isn’t it wonderful? The ones I like, though, are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Of course, I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now while they’re happy.
Claire Evans
Claire writes about history, pop culture, and literature.
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Dorothy Parker Quotes:
10 Witty Sayings From The Writer On Her 128th Birthday
By Suman Varandani Suman Varandani
By Suman Varandani Suman Varandani
Writers Guild Awards: We Asked Celebs How The Current Political Climate Will Affect Their Work?
Legendary author and poet Dorothy Parker would have turned 128 on Sunday if she was alive.
Parker, who was born Aug. 22, 1893, started her writing career as a teenager. She wrote for many publications such as Vogue, Vanity Fair and later the New Yorker, according to her biography on the Dorothy Parker Society Website.
She published nearly 300 poems and free verses in various publications, and in 1926, her first volume of poetry became a bestseller. In the 1930s, Parker became associated with the Communist Party and supported causes such as the fight for civil rights. Because of this, she was blacklisted from Hollywood.
She died in 1967 and left her entire estate to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Foundation.
Here are some witty quotes from the legend, courtesy Good Reads and Bookriot:
1. "That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
2. "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
3. "It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes."
4. "To me, the most beautiful word in the English language is cellar-door. Isn't it wonderful? The ones I like, though, are 'cheque' and 'enclosed.'"
5. "The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
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6. "I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem."
7. "And if my heart be scarred and burned, / The safer, I, for all I learned."
8. "Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!"
9. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
10. "I hate writing, I love having written."
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Bette Davis does Dorothy Parker reading
and does Vince Edwards
Bette Davis adds some feminist culture and class to 60's TV via this appearance, and ends up trading some banter with Vince Edwards, aka Ben Casey. But no, she can't get him to say "Dr. Kildare" or "Richard Chamberlain!"
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Aug
31, 2018 More rarities... preserving golden age TV.
Always the best
quality available. Some items may be on the Net somewhere in bad public
domain condition, with frayed edges and blur and a lot of boring
filler.
This channel digitizes and edits for the best possible viewing experience. Comments
📖 📔 📙 📕 📗 📙 📘 📚 📒 📖 📔 📙 📕 📗 📙 📘 📚 - They certainly broke the mold when they made Bette Davis. Fabulous! Dorothy Parker, also fabulous!
- This is when American voices used to speak with eloquence.
- I could listen to Miss Davis speak for hours 😊
- Ms. Davis did Ms. Parker proud! I thoroughly enjoyed this.
- Dorothy Parker broke the glass ceiling with her acerbic critical style of wit & analysis of society's status quo
- Thanks for posting!! Wonderful quality.
- Handsome and charming Vince Edwards! Forgotten by DVD distributors in regards to his two TV series, but not his baby boomer fans.
- What an amazing video from a time that we will never ever see again Ever Period!!!!!
This Is Not a Novel To Be Tossed Aside Lightly. It Should Be Thrown with Great Force
Dorothy Parker? Sid Ziff? Bennett Cerf? Groucho Marx? Anonymous?
Dear Quote Investigator:
Dear Quote Investigator:
The
most scathingly hilarious quip about a novel is credited to the famous
wit Dorothy Parker who reportedly included it in a book review:
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Unfortunately, no one seems to know when this line was written or spoken. Also, I have not been able to determine the name of the book that was being slammed. Could you explore this?
Quote Investigator:
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Unfortunately, no one seems to know when this line was written or spoken. Also, I have not been able to determine the name of the book that was being slammed. Could you explore this?
Quote Investigator:
Multiple researchers have attempted to locate this joke in the writings of Dorothy Parker and have been unsuccessful.
QI has not yet identified the creator of this comical barb, but QI believes that the most likely target of the mockery was titled “To You I Tell It” by Bill Miller who was a boxing publicist and newspaper columnist. In 1929 Miller collected material from his columns and published it in book form. His work was not universally panned; instead, it initially received praise from colleagues.
In November 1929 the famous journalist and tale-spinner Damon Runyon complimented it by saying, “There is plenty of bang in the little volume.” In December 1929 boxing columnist Marty J. Berg also published a positive remark, “His book, a 250 page affair, is positively hilarious from cover to cover.”
Almost three decades later in 1958, Miller’s book was mentioned by Sid Ziff who wrote “The Inside Track” column in the “Mirror News” of Los Angeles, California. Ziff stated that the clever insult under examination was aimed at the book by an unnamed reviewer. The ellipsis appeared in Ziff’s text. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:
Miller, who contributes now and again to Inside Track, once wrote a book titled “To You I Tell It.” It received mixed reviews. One critic said: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force . . .”
The joke was rephrased and reassigned to Dorothy Parker in 1962 by publisher Bennett Cerf who enjoyed collecting and popularizing quotations. Details are given further below.
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Book reviewers do use expressions such as “lightly tossed aside” and “lightly thrown aside”. Here is an example in 1870 that was not intended to be humorous:
We have examined Mommsen’s History with the greatest interest. It is not a book to be lightly read and lightly thrown aside, like a novel, yet it is as entertaining as fiction.
The quip under scrutiny exaggerates and modifies the phrase “lightly thrown aside” to generate humor.
In 1894 a joke was published that exploited the ambiguity of the phrase “laid it aside with great pleasure”:
McScribber - How did you like my last book of poems?
Miss Birdie McGinnis - I laid it aside with great pleasure. - Texas Siftings.
By 1905 a jest about throwing books was in circulation under the title “The Book Agent”. Apologies to friends of animals:
Agent - Here is a book you can’t afford to be without.
Victim - I never read books.
Agent - Buy it for your children.
Victim - I have no family—only a cat.
Agent - Well, don’t you need a good heavy book to throw at the cat, sometimes?
In February 1922 the anecdote above was reformulated and presented as non-fiction by a letter writer whose tale was printed in a newspaper in Cincinnati, Ohio. This story concerned the great-grandfather of the writer, and the potential target was a dog instead of a cat:
Far back in the fifties he was selling on one occasion “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,” by Gibbon.
“Here is a book you can’t afford to be without,” he said, calling on a man in Hyde Park.
“I never read,” answered the victim.
“Well buy it for your children,” urged my great-grandfather.
“I’m single—I have no family. All I have is a dog.”
“Well,” insisted my great-grandfather, “don’t you want a nice heavy book to throw at the dog now and then?”
In June 1927 Dorothy Parker published a poem titled “To A Lady, Who Must Write Verse” in The New Yorker magazine. The poem suggested that dabblers in poetry should keep their works private. The phrase “thrown aside” was used, but the poem did not include the joke under investigation:[9]
Let your rhymes be tinsel treasures,
Strung and seen and thrown aside.
In October 1927 Parker printed a book review column in The New Yorker that included a quip about throwing a set of books. This jest was distinct from the one being explored in this article, but the conceptual similarity may have caused some confusion:[10]
That gifted entertainer, the Countess of Oxford and Asquith, author of “The Autobiography of Margot Asquith” (four volumes, neatly boxed, suitable for throwing purposes), reverts to tripe in a new book deftly entitled “Lay Sermons.”
In April 1928 Parker once again depicted a book as a projectile in her column in The New Yorker. She was so unhappy with “Beauty and the Beast” by Kathleen Norris that she decided defenestration was required:
I’m much better now, in fact, than I was when we started. I wish you could have heard that pretty crash “Beauty and the Beast” made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.
In 1929 Bill Miller published “To You I Tell It”, and some positive reactions appeared in newspapers as noted previously in this article.
In 1958 columnist Sid Ziff printed the first known instance of the barb. It was aimed at Miller’s book, and the creator of the joke was unnamed:
Miller, who contributes now and again to Inside Track, once wrote a book titled “To You I Tell It.” It received mixed reviews. One critic said: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force . . .”
In February 1960 the joke was reprinted in the mass-circulation periodical Reader’s Digest with credit directly to Sid Ziff. The lambasted book was not identified, and the fact that Ziff had specified an anonymous attribution for the quip was not relayed to the readers:
From a book review: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force.”
- Sid Ziff in Los Angeles Mirror-News
In April 1960 a newspaper in Oakland, California reprinted the joke. The Mirror-News was acknowledged, but Ziff’s name was omitted:
IN BRIEF
From a book review: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force.” - Los Angeles Mirror-News.
In 1962 the publisher and quotation maven Bennett Cerf printed a version in his widely-syndicated column containing the phrase “thrown aside lightly” instead of “lightly thrown aside”. Cerf ascribed the words to Dorothy Parker, but he did not provide a citation:
FROM A BOOK REVIEW BY DOROTHY PARKER: “This is not a novel to be thrown aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
In 1967 the writer Larry Wolters included a version of the jest in his “Gag Bag” newspaper column. This version used the word “tossed” instead of “thrown” and was credited to Parker:[16]
From a review by Dorothy Parker: “This is not a novel to be lightly tossed aside. It should be thrown with great force.”
In 1968 the author Robert E. Drennan printed a version of the joke in his book “The Algonquin Wits” which collected humorous remarks attributed to members of the Algonquin Round Table. The statement appeared in the chapter covering Dorothy Parker, and the phrasing using “tossed” given by Drennan is common today:
Book review: “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
In 1975 the columnist Earl Wilson connected the expression to famed comedian Groucho Marx:
Wish I’d Said That: Groucho Marx mentioned a new novel at the Beverly Hills Saloon. “It’s not a book to be tossed lightly aside — it should be thrown with great force.”
In conclusion, based on current evidence QI believes that Bill Miller’s book “To You I Tell It” was the target of this gibe. The creator of the joke is unknown. Sid Ziff helped to popularize it, but he disclaimed credit.
Dorothy Parker died in 1967 so the joke was being disseminated while she was alive, and she may have used it herself, but QI has located no substantive support that she coined it.
Two other books have been mentioned as possible targets of the barb. “The Cardinal’s Mistress” is the English title of a book by Benito Mussolini which was reviewed by Parker in the New Yorker in 1928. But the review did not contain the jest.[19] “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand has also been named as the object of excoriation, but QI has located no support for this claim.
(Special thanks to Sam Clements and Bonnie Taylor-Blake who explored this saying and found the important citation in the Oakland Tribune on April 4, 1960 along with the citation to Cerf’s column. Thanks also to the participants in discussions about this quotation at the Snopes website and the Straight Dope website which took place in years past. Thanks to writersalmanac.org which posted an article that included the Parker quotation in the 1928 citation.)
Update History:
QI has not yet identified the creator of this comical barb, but QI believes that the most likely target of the mockery was titled “To You I Tell It” by Bill Miller who was a boxing publicist and newspaper columnist. In 1929 Miller collected material from his columns and published it in book form. His work was not universally panned; instead, it initially received praise from colleagues.
In November 1929 the famous journalist and tale-spinner Damon Runyon complimented it by saying, “There is plenty of bang in the little volume.” In December 1929 boxing columnist Marty J. Berg also published a positive remark, “His book, a 250 page affair, is positively hilarious from cover to cover.”
Almost three decades later in 1958, Miller’s book was mentioned by Sid Ziff who wrote “The Inside Track” column in the “Mirror News” of Los Angeles, California. Ziff stated that the clever insult under examination was aimed at the book by an unnamed reviewer. The ellipsis appeared in Ziff’s text. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:
Miller, who contributes now and again to Inside Track, once wrote a book titled “To You I Tell It.” It received mixed reviews. One critic said: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force . . .”
The joke was rephrased and reassigned to Dorothy Parker in 1962 by publisher Bennett Cerf who enjoyed collecting and popularizing quotations. Details are given further below.
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Book reviewers do use expressions such as “lightly tossed aside” and “lightly thrown aside”. Here is an example in 1870 that was not intended to be humorous:
We have examined Mommsen’s History with the greatest interest. It is not a book to be lightly read and lightly thrown aside, like a novel, yet it is as entertaining as fiction.
The quip under scrutiny exaggerates and modifies the phrase “lightly thrown aside” to generate humor.
In 1894 a joke was published that exploited the ambiguity of the phrase “laid it aside with great pleasure”:
McScribber - How did you like my last book of poems?
Miss Birdie McGinnis - I laid it aside with great pleasure. - Texas Siftings.
By 1905 a jest about throwing books was in circulation under the title “The Book Agent”. Apologies to friends of animals:
Agent - Here is a book you can’t afford to be without.
Victim - I never read books.
Agent - Buy it for your children.
Victim - I have no family—only a cat.
Agent - Well, don’t you need a good heavy book to throw at the cat, sometimes?
In February 1922 the anecdote above was reformulated and presented as non-fiction by a letter writer whose tale was printed in a newspaper in Cincinnati, Ohio. This story concerned the great-grandfather of the writer, and the potential target was a dog instead of a cat:
Far back in the fifties he was selling on one occasion “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,” by Gibbon.
“Here is a book you can’t afford to be without,” he said, calling on a man in Hyde Park.
“I never read,” answered the victim.
“Well buy it for your children,” urged my great-grandfather.
“I’m single—I have no family. All I have is a dog.”
“Well,” insisted my great-grandfather, “don’t you want a nice heavy book to throw at the dog now and then?”
In June 1927 Dorothy Parker published a poem titled “To A Lady, Who Must Write Verse” in The New Yorker magazine. The poem suggested that dabblers in poetry should keep their works private. The phrase “thrown aside” was used, but the poem did not include the joke under investigation:[9]
Let your rhymes be tinsel treasures,
Strung and seen and thrown aside.
In October 1927 Parker printed a book review column in The New Yorker that included a quip about throwing a set of books. This jest was distinct from the one being explored in this article, but the conceptual similarity may have caused some confusion:[10]
That gifted entertainer, the Countess of Oxford and Asquith, author of “The Autobiography of Margot Asquith” (four volumes, neatly boxed, suitable for throwing purposes), reverts to tripe in a new book deftly entitled “Lay Sermons.”
In April 1928 Parker once again depicted a book as a projectile in her column in The New Yorker. She was so unhappy with “Beauty and the Beast” by Kathleen Norris that she decided defenestration was required:
I’m much better now, in fact, than I was when we started. I wish you could have heard that pretty crash “Beauty and the Beast” made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.
In 1929 Bill Miller published “To You I Tell It”, and some positive reactions appeared in newspapers as noted previously in this article.
In 1958 columnist Sid Ziff printed the first known instance of the barb. It was aimed at Miller’s book, and the creator of the joke was unnamed:
Miller, who contributes now and again to Inside Track, once wrote a book titled “To You I Tell It.” It received mixed reviews. One critic said: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force . . .”
In February 1960 the joke was reprinted in the mass-circulation periodical Reader’s Digest with credit directly to Sid Ziff. The lambasted book was not identified, and the fact that Ziff had specified an anonymous attribution for the quip was not relayed to the readers:
From a book review: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force.”
- Sid Ziff in Los Angeles Mirror-News
In April 1960 a newspaper in Oakland, California reprinted the joke. The Mirror-News was acknowledged, but Ziff’s name was omitted:
IN BRIEF
From a book review: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force.” - Los Angeles Mirror-News.
In 1962 the publisher and quotation maven Bennett Cerf printed a version in his widely-syndicated column containing the phrase “thrown aside lightly” instead of “lightly thrown aside”. Cerf ascribed the words to Dorothy Parker, but he did not provide a citation:
FROM A BOOK REVIEW BY DOROTHY PARKER: “This is not a novel to be thrown aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
In 1967 the writer Larry Wolters included a version of the jest in his “Gag Bag” newspaper column. This version used the word “tossed” instead of “thrown” and was credited to Parker:[16]
From a review by Dorothy Parker: “This is not a novel to be lightly tossed aside. It should be thrown with great force.”
In 1968 the author Robert E. Drennan printed a version of the joke in his book “The Algonquin Wits” which collected humorous remarks attributed to members of the Algonquin Round Table. The statement appeared in the chapter covering Dorothy Parker, and the phrasing using “tossed” given by Drennan is common today:
Book review: “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
In 1975 the columnist Earl Wilson connected the expression to famed comedian Groucho Marx:
Wish I’d Said That: Groucho Marx mentioned a new novel at the Beverly Hills Saloon. “It’s not a book to be tossed lightly aside — it should be thrown with great force.”
In conclusion, based on current evidence QI believes that Bill Miller’s book “To You I Tell It” was the target of this gibe. The creator of the joke is unknown. Sid Ziff helped to popularize it, but he disclaimed credit.
Dorothy Parker died in 1967 so the joke was being disseminated while she was alive, and she may have used it herself, but QI has located no substantive support that she coined it.
Two other books have been mentioned as possible targets of the barb. “The Cardinal’s Mistress” is the English title of a book by Benito Mussolini which was reviewed by Parker in the New Yorker in 1928. But the review did not contain the jest.[19] “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand has also been named as the object of excoriation, but QI has located no support for this claim.
(Special thanks to Sam Clements and Bonnie Taylor-Blake who explored this saying and found the important citation in the Oakland Tribune on April 4, 1960 along with the citation to Cerf’s column. Thanks also to the participants in discussions about this quotation at the Snopes website and the Straight Dope website which took place in years past. Thanks to writersalmanac.org which posted an article that included the Parker quotation in the 1928 citation.)
Update History:
On
June 19, 2015 the 1928 citation was added. On June 25, 2021 three
citations were added with dates November 30, 1929; December 4, 1929; and
December 18, 1958. Also, the body of the article and the conclusion
were partially rewritten.
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