Female👬Male Dictionary

Female 👬 Male

Translation 📚 Dictionary

While Women and Men use the same words, they do not attach the same meanings to them.  This results in miscommunications, confusion, and frustration for all involved.   

This is a guide for men to use and better understand the women in their lives.

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. It means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It ! One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD!

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO...

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

Whatever 

Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." It is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome', that will bring on a 'whatever'.  A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Don't worry about it, I got it :
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to "nothing".

I told you about that: 

This means that she did tell you this and expected you to hear and remember it even though you were sleeping, in the shower, or watching a Victoria’s Secret commercial when she told you.

When are you going to do that: 

Pay attention to this one. It means that you have been asked to do something several times and this is your final warning before number 9 above happens.

Note:

There are several non-verbal methods of communication at a woman’s disposal:
    (A) The look of “You’ve got to be kidding”: This may be accompanied by a slightly raised eyebrow. She is storing this moment away for a later “I told you so” moment.
    (B) The look of Death: This means that if you proceed with what you just suggested, prepare to not get any loving for up to a month.
    (C) The look of Death with Lasers: That burning sensation means that if you proceed with what you just suggested, you better have a good lawyer.