Man's 🧑 Dictionary

Man's 🙋‍♂️Dictionary 📘

"IT'S A GUY THING"
                       Translated:

"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" 
                       Translated:

"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" 
                       Translated:

 Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
                     Translated:

 "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
                       Translated:
"I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
                       Translated:
 "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
                      Translated:
"Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
                     Translated:
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
                       Translated:

 "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
                       Translated:

"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT." 
                   Translated:
 "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" 
                  Translated:

"What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
                     Translated:

"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
 
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
                      Translated:

 "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
                       Translated:

"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
                     Translated:

 "No one will ever see us alive again."

 

MEN'S WEDDING CAKE

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